


Rosalind Reports In

by SingingMom1716



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-01-29 14:20:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 11,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12632847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SingingMom1716/pseuds/SingingMom1716
Summary: My Fallout 4 playthrough in story form.  Posted with screenshots on my Tumblr (thefrostyshepard).  Chapters reflect posting order.





	1. Waking Up

**Author's Note:**

> My dear friend Charomiami asked for my Fallout story in a continuous form, so this is for her. :)

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Nathaniel and I were supposed to be together, forever. We were supposed to live the American Dream together. Raise our children, together.

Now Nathaniel’s dead. I keep trying to wake up to a time before the world ended, but I can’t. The love of my life is dead, our son – gone, and somehow, somewhere, I lost 200 years.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. How do I salvage a forgotten life in a broken city? I found a typewriter that by some miracle still works. Paper is a precious commodity, but the clacks and rattles sound almost… normal. If I close my eyes, I can feel Nathaniel by my side, I can hear Shaun’s burbles from his crib. I can almost forget I’m living in a nightmare.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Somehow, I must figure out what to do next. My family is dead, yet I’m alive. It’s time to decide what that means.

Rosalind


	2. Concord

The day dawns, bringing uncertain hope.

Concord was eye-opening, a trial by fire that still has me shaking. But I don’t dare show it, not now. Five people wander around the ruins of my old home, looking at me like I’m some sort of shining light. I tried to tell them I’m not a leader – I don’t know how to fight – I almost got eaten by malformed rats on my way there, for heaven’s sake! Without that dog nosing around the old Red Rocket I’d be dead. But they still treat me like a hero, when all I did was walk into the wrong building trying to find help for myself. 

I had to kill people to save others who were in a worse state than I am. Nathaniel never talked about his time in the wars, no matter how much I asked. He always got this haunted look on his face, and I never understood why. Now, I see that same expression reflected back at me when I pass broken windows.

Preston offered to teach me how to shoot a gun properly, so I don’t waste a year’s worth of ammunition on a single roach or mutant mosquito. Whether it helps or not, I don’t know, but it’s something to do. Something that isn’t weeping over a holo-tape I’ve already played a thousand times. But even though it rips open raw wounds every time I listen to it, I can’t stop myself. Because I’m terrified I’ll forget what they sounded like, the soft rasp of his voice, those precious baby babbles. If I forget, what does that say about me?

Rosalind


	3. Corvega Plant, Minutemen

Preston means well, but I swear he doesn’t see me for what I am. He has me on a pedestal so high I can barely see the ground. I did what he asked. I went out to Tenpines Bluff with Dogmeat, and then to Lexington, and the Corvega Assembly Plant. Raiders based in the plant attacked the settlement on a regular basis – it was a matter of time before they were wiped out. So I helped. Or more accurately, I skulked around the plant, picking off raiders when I could, burning through stimpaks when they’d find me first. If it wasn’t for Dogmeat and rage-induced adrenaline, I’d be dead a thousand times over.

When we limped back to Sanctuary with the good news, Preston was all smiles. The he named me General of the Minutemen, just like that. I couldn’t respond, what with my jaw on the ground. Does he not understand I’m not a fighter? Give me a terminal and a crowd to charm and I’ll dazzle the horns off a deathclaw. But raiders don’t understand charm. To them, I was “bitch” and “girl”. Yet, Preston insists I’ll grow into the title.

Somewhere, Nathaniel is chuckling over this turn of events, shaking his head with that smile. He was the soldier, after all – if anyone should be a general, it’s him.

I suppose I should head to Diamond City, follow that slim thread Mama Murphy spun. She seems happier now that she has a proper chair. I’m glad I could give her a little something. She needs to smile more.

Rosalind


	4. Diamond City

So this is Diamond City.

I hoped for an actual city, like I remember. Instead, I found a shantytown filled with so-called elite and destitute folks, run by a shady mayor. Some things never change, it seems.

I got inside the gates with the help of a reporter calling herself Piper. Once I get on the right track to finding my son, I’ll check out her paper – see if it’s really the cause of brothers pulling guns on each other in the market. I need more information before I decide what’s what – I still feel hopelessly out of place anywhere Dogmeat and I go. Maybe this Valentine will help – once I find him, that is. Why is it everyone who could help me needs finding or rescuing first? For once, I’d like to just go to a place and have the person I need be right there.

On my way to the city, I ran across someone.. rather interesting. I picked up a radio broadcast about people in trouble, found what was a police station swarming with those awful feral ghouls, actually managed to shoot some without getting hurt too badly, and got thanked for jumping into the fray by a man in power armor. He was obviously in charge, at least he acted like he was in charge, and asked if I’d help his group get a receiver for their radio. Once I’m finished in Diamond City, I might go back and help him and his team. Danse, I think he said his name was – Paladin Danse. He looked military, fought military – maybe “Paladin” is a new rank for the army? So much of him was hidden in that armor, but his eyes stay with me.

What’s wrong with me, writing that? I need to stay focused on finding Shaun. That means tracking down this Valentine, so once Dogmeat and I rest up, we’ll be on our way. Hopefully the guy knows where my baby is, or at least can point me in the right direction. Mama Murphy is convinced he’s alive. I wish I had her faith. There’s a chapel in the city – I poked my head in, and when Dogmeat relaxed by the pastor, I sat and prayed for the first time since I woke up. For Nathaniel – that he’s at peace wherever he is, for Shaun, for all the people I’ve met that don’t want me dead – it felt strange to pray, but after we left, I felt calmer, more at peace with myself. Nice to see something good remaining after all the bad that’s happened.

Rosalind


	5. Valentine

Well, I found Valentine.

He’s… not what I expected. I knew he wasn’t human the minute I saw him – his glowing orange eyes sort of gave that away. But Nick’s shown me the most kindness of anyone I’ve met so far. Thanks to him, I have an actual lead – a name to put with the bald, scarred face that’s haunted my nightmares.

Getting to him was an adventure in itself. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to shooting people, even to save myself. Nathaniel would say that’s a good thing, I’m sure – he certainly never did. At least I didn’t have to square off against that Skinny Malone and his girlfriend. Whatever Mama Murphy saw was enough to spook Malone, and his fear made his girl bail. Though I have to wonder what cost Mama paid for that vision.

Once we got back to Diamond City, I talked to Piper, and gave her an interview for her paper. I’m not sure what good my telling people I’m over 200 years old and searching for my son will do for them, but Piper’s sure my hope will give others hope. The jury’s still out on whether she’ll be right in the long run.

Once Nick and I follow this lead to where it ends, I’m heading back to that police station. The longer I’m awake, the more I feel like I can help people – even if it’s just picking off ghouls and monsters. The Paladin seemed like he wanted me to help, instead of needing me to help. A fine line, but an important one.

Here’s hoping what we found doesn’t leave us in pieces in some alley before I get back to Cambridge Station.

Rosalind


	6. Kellogg

We followed the lead, and now, I think being torn to pieces and left in an alley would have been kinder.

Dogmeat trailed the scarred man’s scent – Kellogg’s odor of booze and expensive cigars – across abandoned tracks infested with glowing rats, through fields filled with rotting, moving corpses, past what I swear was an actual mutant BEAR that we only barely survived encountering, all the way to an old fort. Nick took point as we circled around the building, turrets ripping through leather and metal until I settled down and shot them. We found a door inside the rusted remains of the garage, Nick hacked through the lock when my fingers failed me.

Once inside, it wasn’t raiders or mercs that greeted us – it was machines. Synths, Nick called them – robots that sounded like something from an old movie, bodies of ruthless nuclear power and minds of cold mechanical efficiency. They scared me more than anything I’ve seen since waking up – even more than the bear did. Lucky for us, bullets work just as well on machines as they do on monsters.

Nick and I guarded each others’ backs as we fought our way deeper inside the ruin. Skeletons of people who died in the aftermath of the blast that changed the world lay among the refuse of the man who occupied it now. Kellogg taunted us, telling me he was surprised I made it to Diamond City – he thought the Wasteland would’ve killed me by now. He told me to stop, and walk away, that what I’d find would be bigger than I could handle. All Kellogg accomplished was making me mad – angrier than I’ve been since realizing Nathaniel’s death was real. His murderer was in my reach, and words weren’t stopping me.

Finally, I was face to face with Kellogg. It took everything I had to not laser-bast his face on sight. With the synths in the room, that would’ve been suicide, and the bastard knew it. He took Shaun all right, admitted it without hesitation or remorse. But my baby wasn’t there at all. That man took him to the Institute – an organization I only knew from Piper’s wild stories. All that fighting, all the smoke and haze and blood – and I was no closer to Shaun than when Nick and I snuck into Kellogg’s old house.

And reducing Kellogg to a pile of red-smeared ash wasn’t enough to stop my tears blurring my vision of the metal blimp flying over the Commonwealth. 

Rosalind


	7. Sanctuary

Sanctuary is not only a home, it’s a state of mind.

After coming back from Fort Hagen, I didn’t want to go anywhere, or do anything. All I could do that first day was sit by Shaun’s old crib – until Sturges came by with a bottle of the good stuff. He didn’t say anything, just handed it to me and walked away. I need to thank him for that.

The next morning, and the morning after that, felt a little better. It still hurts – I don’t think that will ever stop. Talking to Nick helped – a lot more than I thought it would. He’s the first person who actually asked me how I’m holding up – and as he told me his story of how he came to be in Diamond City, I realized he actually understands what I’m going through. No one else really seems to get that I still feel lost out here. 

Mama Murphy still wants chems for her “sight”. While her visions help, all those different drugs in her system can’t be good for her. I told her I thought she should stop – begged and pleaded with her, but she’s stubborn. Her life is worth far more than what she sees in a chem-induced haze. I just wish she’d see that.

I went out to the settlements after a while, made sure they all have enough food, water, defenses – all these people want is to live out here. If I can help make that happen – if I make a difference in their lives – then maybe I can keep moving forward, follow the next thread. 

Nick said something about a doctor in Goodneighbor. After I see what the Paladin wants, that will be my next stop. Shaun’s still out there, and by hell or high water I will find him.

Rosalind


	8. Strong. Cait, and the Paladin

I used to love the rain.

When we first moved to Sanctuary Hills, Nathaniel and I curled up on our sofa on rainy days. We’d drink coffee, eat snack cakes, and relish the pitter-patter on the windows. After Shaun was born, we’d hold him up so he could see the droplets trace patterns on the glass. Now my heart tightens when the clouds roll in.

The settlements are managing well enough, so Nick and I went back towards Diamond City for a resupply. A stray radio transmission put me in the company of a large, Strong Super-Mutant looking for “the milk of human kindness”, and stumbling into something like a Raider Colosseum had me taking over the contract of a wild-eyed lady going by Cait. Since Nick needed to check in with his agency, Cait went with me to the Cambridge Police Station. She’s far better in a fight than I am, that’s for sure.

The Paladin explained his mission to us in the closest I’ve heard to lawyer speak since waking up. The three of us headed to ArcJet Systems, where he said the receiver he needed to fix the Brotherhood of Steel’s communications was located. We hit a few rough spots on the way – a couple raiders, some gunners, and more of those Super Mutants – but we got into the building relatively unscathed. Inside was another story. Synths were everywhere, and they were just as awful as the ones in Fort Hagen. I don’t think I will ever get used to them. At one point, they almost overwhelmed Paladin Danse – the more he shot, the more dropped down upon him. So I pushed the start button for some sort of rocket engine test, which took care of all the synths. Though if Danse had not been wearing power armor, the blast would’ve finished him off too.

Once we got out of that horrible place, Paladin Danse not only thanked me for my help (what little there was of it, given that Cait and he did all the hard work), he offered me a position in the Brotherhood of Steel. Cait scoffed at the idea, but before I knew it, I found myself accepting on the spot. She doesn’t understand how much I miss that sort of sensible discipline, or how few people actually seem to want to make the Wastelands livable.

We headed back to Sanctuary after all that, so I could check on Mama Murphy. I finally convinced her to stop using the chems, to give up the Sight. At first she was angry, but before I left she smiled at me. Knowing she’ll be around a little longer makes my heart a little lighter.

Rosalind


	9. The Prydwyn

I got caught in a literal whirlwind, and perhaps it will lead me to Shaun.

Cait and I checked on the settlements, then she stayed in Sanctuary while Dogmeat and I headed to Diamond City for another resupply, and to check on Piper. She seemed eager to get out in the field, so to speak, so we traveled back to the Cambridge Police Station.

While the Paladin and the Scribe don’t mind my presence, the Knight, Rhys, does nothing but glare at me. When he decides to talk to me, his tone is sharp, clipped – just like the judges who underestimated me. I know I’m not a typical soldier, but I’m not stupid by any means.

Piper was just as shocked as Cait that I’d want to follow orders. Neither understands how much I miss the stability, the certainty, that comes with a military life. Nathaniel served with distinction, and retired with honor. Though I wonder now how long he would have been content in civilian life. He always smiled for me, and for Shaun, but at times I thought I saw a longing in his eyes – a restlessness. Funny what odd memories cross my mind.

Paladin Danse took me up to the police station’s roof, where a verti-bird awaited to fly us to the Prydwyn – the command ship of the Brotherhood in the Commonwealth. That flight – I felt happier than I have in weeks. I had two hands on a mini-gun, the city below me was a ruined memory, and all I felt was delight. At one point I swore I saw the Paladin glance my way, those dark eyes meeting mine for a moment – or maybe it was my imagination.

The joy I felt in flight soon grounded in the weight of the Elder. Elder Maxson was grim, determined – every inch a leader. While I understand why Paladin Danse holds him in such high regard, I need to see more of him before I decide for myself what kind of leader he is. According to his speech, the Brotherhood is in the Commonwealth to hunt down the Institute – the synths in the shadows who have my baby. If the Elder keeps his word, Shaun and I will be reunited, and my world will be whole. To that end, I’ll follow where the Paladin leads. Hopefully I’m on the right path, and not on a road to certain doom.

Rosalind.


	10. Fort Strong

It wasn’t doom, but it was close enough to count.

I’ve seen Super Mutants – even sort of befriended one – but that behemoth of a creature outside Fort Strong was beyond anything I’ve ever seen. That was my mission, given by the Elder – accompany Paladin Danse to the fort, wipe out the Super Mutants inside it, and secure the Fat Man bombs stored there during the Great War. Not quite what I expected to do once becoming part of the Brotherhood, but I suppose it’s a form of the old quid pro quo.

Danse is a soldier to his core – I can see that much. But, the Super Mutants brought out a rage in him, bordering on blood lust. He was reluctant to tell me why at first, but it didn’t take much coaxing for him to explain. Super Mutants killed a friend of his, and so he would see them all dead in return. Before the war, I didn’t understand that kind of hate, how anyone could loathe a group of people so much they would go to any length to see them destroyed. Now, knowing what I know about the Institute, and the synths within its walls who have my son, I see where Danse is coming from.

After we secured the Fort for the Brotherhood, the Paladin and I parted ways – for now. He has his duties aboard the Prydwyn, and I have mine in the fledgling settlements. Sanctuary will never be what is was before the Great War, but slowly, surely, it’s returning to at least hints of its former glory. It’s almost a home again.

While there, Piper reminded me in her not-always subtle way that Preston was still waiting for me near the old castle. Since everyone seemed to be managing well enough without me, I dropped off more typewriters, including an actual Carlisle model, and Piper and I went on our way. With luck, Preston will reclaim the Castle without much trouble, then I’ll return to the Prydwyn.

Maybe when I get back to the Brotherhood’s base, the Elder and Paladin Danse will have a stronger lead on Shaun. Nothing I do out here matters as long as he’s in the Institute’s clutches.

Rosalind.


	11. The Castle

I never liked crab. Now, that dislike is pure hatred.

Nothing in the Wasteland comes easy. I have no idea why I thought helping the Minutemen retake their Castle would be a simple mission. We made it there without much hassle – just a small band of Super-Mutants by a ruined shop that took potshots at us – met with Preston and his group, and laid out a solid battle plan. Two groups converging in the courtyard – a classic pincer formation. All our ducks lined up, so we charged.

Right into a nest of mutated crabs, as big as ponies.

We scrambled, cracked eggs – Preston stepped up with a flame-thrower which drove the beasts back, and it seemed like we turned the tide back to our favor. Then, Hell launched itself at us – a massive terror of rage and acid-spewing black claws. The Minutemen held their ground, several sacrificing themselves so that the beast would fall, and stay down. I now have more fodder for my nightmares, and new scars on my hands from the splashback. But in the end, we won. The Castle is a smoking ruin, and the stench of burnt crab persists despite the breezes coming off the water, but it’s back in proper hands.

With the Minutemen’s radio fixed and their affairs in order, Piper and I wandered from settlement to settlement, checking on food stores, defenses, and overall mood. Despite the hardships, people truly seem to want to make a go of life away from the cities. Piper wants to help people as much as I do, and we make a pretty good team out here – her sarcastic taunts grab attention, while I circle around and blast whatever thinks our setters are easy prey.

On the way back to Sanctuary, I caught sight of the Prydwyn hovering in the distance, half-shielded by haze. After a bit of a rest and restock, I’ll likely head back to that floating wonder. I’ve got some technical paperwork and a blood sample to drop off to the Brotherhood, and I need to know if the Elder’s any closer to finding the Institute. They should know something by now, with all the resources at their disposal.

I also wonder how the Paladin is doing.

Rosalind


	12. Brave thoughts

Goodneighbor, it’s called.

Nick suggested we go there – in fact, I’m almost positive he’s there now, waiting for me. The Elder strongly advised heading to Goodneighbor at the end of my debriefing. But I haven’t gone there – not yet.

I tell myself it’s because there’s always something else to do – a settlement needs defending, or shelters need building, beds made, crops planted, water pumped, the list goes on and on. But deep down, I’m afraid of what I’ll find in Goodneighbor. Or what I won’t find.

What if the lead is a dead end? What if the doctor Nick knows can’t use the implant I scraped out of Kellogg’s brain to figure out where he took my baby? What if the doctor refuses to help me at all, because I’m a member of the Brotherhood of Steel? What if he helps, the implant works, but there’s nothing there – no lead to follow at all?

I can’t put it off forever. Paladin Danse doesn’t say it, but I can tell he’s eager to get to Goodneighbor. Though I’m sure it’s because Elder Maxson ordered us there, and not because of me, or Shaun. He confuses me more than anyone I’ve met. Piper, Nick, Cait, Preston – they all are what they seem, so far. Nick could have hidden what he is from me, but he didn’t. He didn’t hesitate when the synths attacked us. When I look at Danse, there’s more to him than a soldier in highly-effective power armor. He told me he sees potential in me, like his old commanding officer saw in him. I’m not entirely sure what that means. If he thinks I’m a soldier like him, he’s got me mixed up with Nathaniel.

At times, especially when the clouds gather, I wonder what Nathaniel would make of the world now. Every time I see the shattered remains of cribs, scattered toys, abandoned teddy bears, my chest tightens, and what could have been – should have been – blurs my vision. Paladin Danse shoots me odd looks, but he at least leaves me to my grief in those moments. Hopefully we won’t run across any more silent testimonies of what I lost when the world ended.

It’s time for me to be brave, and see if Goodneighbor holds the key to my future.

Rosalind


	13. Goodneighbor

Just when I think the worst is behind me, something horrible slaps me out of left field.

The Paladin and I finally made it to Goodneighbor in mostly one piece, picking off ferals infesting a small graveyard – may those poor souls rest in peace – and running from raiders lurking on the ruins of an overpass. Like Diamond City, Goodneighbor was more shantytown than true city – with hustlers so bold one actually dared to bully us for caps just to set foot in the common area. I’d already shot him down with a withering stare, then the Mayor – a ghoul with his mind intact calling himself Hamilton – shot him down with a single bullet in the gut. It all happened so fast.

Hamilton curtly explained the way of Goodneighbor, how all were welcome no matter who or what they were. I agreed, to a point – only to see Danse glare at me out of the corner of my eye. I know he doesn’t like synths, or Super-mutants, but I don’t understand his rage at how Goodneighbor’s run. Not every place can be like the Prydwyn. Not everyone responds to military discipline. Once Danse spends more time in the Commonwealth, he’ll understand that. I hope.

True to his word, Nick was waiting for me at The Memory Den, introducing me to Doctor Amari. When I told her what we wanted from what was left of Kellogg’s brain, the doctor said it was impossible to extract memories from a dead person, let alone a fragment of a dead brain. But after examining the hippocampus (the part I apparently scraped out of the ash pile), she found neural implants attached to it – implants that looked familiar enough to Nick for him to offer to fire it up, so to speak. I asked him over and over if he was sure, but he told me the risk was worth it if being a host for Kellogg got us closer to Shaun. So, we did it. Nick sat in one lounger, I sat in another, Danse watched our backs, and the doctor activated the implant.

And I ended up in a circle of Hell.


	14. Memory Den

Strange purple lights – I suppose they were what was left of Kellogg’s neural pathways – lit the way from one memory fragment to another. I saw Kellogg as a child, his indifferent mother telling him all he could ever depend on in life was the gun in his hand. I saw him with a wife and a baby, trying to survive in what sounded like California. I saw his rage and anguish when his family was murdered by a voice in the darkness.

And I saw him destroy my life. Again.

In his mind, he knew I’d come after him if I escaped the vault. A stone-cold professional killer left a loophole, because he only killed the targets he was paid to kill. I guess I wasn’t on Kellogg’s list when his accomplice ripped Shaun from Nathaniel’s arms, and he shot my husband like he was nothing. I saw myself pounding on the window of my cryo pod, heard my own muffled screams, saw Kellogg re-activate my pod, leaving the rest of the vault to die slow deaths as they thawed.

If I could kill him again, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

The last intact memory was of Kellogg – and Shaun. He wasn’t a baby anymore. He had my hair, and Nathaniel’s eyes. He’s already a young man, calm and quiet like his father, inquisitive like me. I saw one of those synths appear out of nowhere, and leave the same way – taking my boy with him.

Then, I woke up, and immediately threw up.

Nick didn’t recover right away either. For a moment, he sounded like Kellogg – even SPOKE like Kellogg. It freaked me out, but I tried to hide it. I know Nick won’t hurt me – he’s been nothing but kind to me – but what happens if Kellogg re-asserts himself, takes over my friend’s body?

No. I can’t think like that. I can’t think at all. The memories revealed another thread – an Institute scientist who defected, and fled to the Glowing Sea. Dr. Amari, Nick, and Danse all said the same thing, that it’s not called the Glowing Sea for nothing. I’ll need power armor and a stash of Rad-X and Radaway to even get near it. But that’s not why I can’t go there now.

I close my eyes, and I see Nathaniel’s body crumpled in his pod. I cover my ears, and I hear Shaun crying after the gunshot. I need to keep my mind occupied or I’ll go utterly insane.

Nick went back to Diamond City. I’ll give him a few days, then maybe I’ll check his cases. Or clear out another settlement spot for Preston. Danse still needs my help finding the original Brotherhood patrol. I guess I’ll start with that. He’s been understanding of my silence, even saving me from a nasty bunch of mutated scorpions I blundered into because I wasn’t paying enough attention to my surroundings. He may not be the most open-minded person in the Commonwealth, but he is one of the most dependable.

And right now, dependable is what I need.

Rosalind.


	15. Settlement Thoughts

I thought throwing myself into a routine would bring clarity. Instead, it brought more confusion.

Traveling with the Paladin makes me feel safe. With his guidance, I’m better able to handle the nasty elements that call the Wasteland home. Power armor feels less like a prison and more like a second skin. We even took out a particularly vicious horsefly that flew at us with single-minded fury and a horrible glowing ghoul that still lives in my nightmares.

After a check and repair of my armored suit on the Prydwyn, Danse asked if he could speak to me. Naturally I said yes – concerned something was wrong, or that he didn’t want to travel with me anymore. What he said was not what I expected – at all.

He told me a bit about his childhood in the Capital Wasteland, his time spent struggling as a teenage scrap dealer. When he talked about his friend who joined the Brotherhood with him, I saw the same haunted sadness in his eyes I see in my own. Danse had to end the life of someone he swore to protect. That kind of heartbreak isn’t quite like my own, but it explains his endless patience with me.

During our conversation, after he confessed what happened to his friend, I told him something like that wouldn’t happen to our relationship – that I cared too much to allow it. That took Danse by surprise, and quite frankly, it surprised me even as the words left my lips. It’s true, of course – but the realization I cared that much, it scares me, thinking back. Not only the fear of him dying on me, or for me – I’m afraid of that every time I wander around the Wasteland no matter who’s with me – but the fear of forgetting Nathaniel. I’ve grieved for months now. Some nights I still wake up thinking all this has been nothing but some cruel nightmare – until a rad storm crashes me back into reality. I don’t want to forget what I had, but if I even think about… what kind of woman does that make me?

Danse said he has a lot to think about, and so do I. But in the meantime, we have a patrol to find, somewhere further north. Traveling means little time for thinking. Maybe once we discover the final fate of his patrol, the Paladin and I will have answers to the unspoken questions between us.

Rosalind


	16. Paladin Brandis and Paladin Danse

We finally learned the fate of the first patrol the Brotherhood of Steel sent to the Commonwealth. I’m not sure who fared worse in the end – the three members that died outright, or the broken Paladin that survived.

Paladin Brandis was barely a shell of himself, so lost in his waking nightmare he hardly recognized his fellow Paladin. To be honest, I don’t think I could’ve gotten through Brandis’s paranoid haze without Danse backing me up. In the end, we convinced him to return to the Prydwyn and the Brotherhood. I hope Brandis finds the peace he desperately needs to heal.

Before we left the old bunker, Danse asked if we could talk again. Granted, I could tell something was on his mind – he gets this distant look in his eyes when things weigh heavily upon him. At first, I thought he was worried about Paladin Brandis, or perhaps my still-shaky skill with guns (Danse saved me from a persistent Gunner by literally blowing his head off not far from the bunker). But it wasn’t that at all. Instead, Danse opened up about his own patrol – what they endured before I stumbled into the police station’s courtyard, the fellow soldier he ordered Scribe Haylen to give a “clean death”, and how he handled her grief afterwards.

I was taken aback by his confession – Danse always appears confident, so sure of himself. But now, he allowed me to see all the doubt he has about his leadership. I assured him that I believed in him, in his cause – and that surprised him, though I’m not sure why. Without him I’d have been dead a hundred different ways. I felt so at ease with Danse in that moment, I actually found myself lightly flirting with him. The attempt sailed right past him, however – or I could just be out of practice. The last time I talked to a man like that was not long after I met Nathaniel. We were at some restaurant, and it was like we’d known each other for years. I’d almost forgotten what that comforting, familiar feeling was like.

Danse and I reported back to Lance-Captain Kells, then traveled to Sanctuary for a rest and re-supply. While there, Nick approached me, wanting to chat. So we pulled up chairs by one of my typewriters, and we talked. He told me about his life before Diamond City, what little he remembered of the Institute, the first time someone spoke to him like he was a person – even why he wears clothes like a old-fashioned detective. In the end, I realized he and I are a lot alike. We both woke up in a world we didn’t understand, and we both strive to make this world better, however we can. I never expected to find true friends in the Commonwealth, but I’m glad I found since a friend in Nick.

I’m sure the other settlements need my attention, then it’s back on the trail for Danse and me. If my bravery returns, maybe we’ll trace the thread to the Glowing Sea. Heaven only knows what Shaun’s had to endure out there.

Rosalind.


	17. BoS Supplies

At what point do we cease being human?

While investigating supply discrepancies for the Lance Captain, the trail led to an Initiate named Clarke. One of his fellows, Lucia, told Danse and me she’s been worried about him ever since fighting off the feral ghouls swarming the old airport. When we tried following Clarke off base, the man seemed all nervous and jumpy, so I told Danse to go ahead to Sanctuary, and I’d meet him after I got to the bottom of the thefts.

It turns out I only had part of the story.

It felt strange traveling alone. Every little sound set my nerves on alert – and when those sounds brought those awful ferals with them, I wasted just as much ammo as I used fending them off. More practice, Danse would say – I need to relax and trust myself, he says. I wish I had the confidence he seems to have.

In the end, I found the missing food supplies, and Clarke. He found a section of the ruined airport terminal absolutely infested with feral ghouls, and decided to… take care of them by feeding them the rations he stole. I was shocked at first, not to mention angry with him for possibly endangering his unit – but the haunted look in his eyes told me more than his words. He killed so many ghouls during the battle for the airport, ghouls that reminded him of a friend he made before joining the Brotherhood of Steel. He asked if I’d kill his friend just because he’s a ghoul – and all I could think to ask at the time was if his friend was a feral ghoul, as opposed to one with their mental capacities intact (like the Mayor of Goodneighbor). Now, I find myself wondering about all the ghouls I’ve killed. Like Clarke said, they were human once. Sometimes, I find trinkets on their bodies – silverware, jewelry, sometimes baby bottles and toys. I never thought much about why they’d have such things, until running into Clarke. He desperately wanted me to leave these ghouls alone, and I agreed. I’m sure Danse would have had something to say about my decision, but he wasn’t there to see all the trauma laid bare on Clarke’s face.

I convinced Clarke to turn himself in, own up to what he did – and then headed up the elevator and into the cool night air, immediately heading back to the Brotherhood’s base. The Lance Captain seemed happy with the outcome – but I’ve been ill at ease ever since leaving the Prydwyn. The Brotherhood sees the world in black and white. But even before the bombs fell, I knew the world isn’t like that at all. Every action, every person, lives in shades of grey – some darker, some lighter, but grey all the same.

Maybe Danse will understand that more once we meet up again, and head to the Glowing Sea. I’ve put it off long enough. It’s time for me to find my son.

Rosalind


	18. Virgil and the Glowing Sea

I thought I’d seen it all by now. I thought nothing else could shock, startle, or surprise me. I was so, so wrong.

Danse and I traveled far to the south, towards the Glowing Sea. It’s a good thing I had the Brotherhood’s power armor and a pocketful of Rad-X – my Pip-Boy’s Geiger counter was dancing like mad from the time we first saw the blackened, twisted trees on the north side of the Sea. The sky was a sickly green, the clouds looked like poison, and the lightning flashed like broken neon signs. It would have been breathtakingly beautiful if not for the radiation count.

We picked our way along the shore, avoiding creatures as best as we could – though a fight with another Deathclaw was unavoidable. Once it saw us, it wouldn’t stop attacking until Danse and I reduced it to ash. First thing on my to-do list is armor repair.

Not long after that, we saw a settlement. Actual people live in the Glowing Sea.

Well, I’m not entirely sure about their state of mind. Their leader, Isolde, spoke like one of those preachers that used to be on the TV, selling places in heaven for the right price. Only in this case, heaven is the Atom, and the church is a crater. Isolde soon told us where Virgil possibly was, and we quickly left that strange place.

Only to wind up somewhere even stranger.

We found the cave Isolde mentioned with little trouble – not a ghoul, mirelurk, or Deathclaw anywhere around. And inside that cave was Virgil – or, at least he said he was Virgil. The former Institute scientist was not the human I expected to find. He talked like an intellectual, but he looked like a Super Mutant. I saw Danse’s anger even through his armor, but thankfully he let me do the talking.

After assuring Virgil we weren’t there to kill him, and Kellogg was in fact deader than the proverbial door-nail, he told us how to get inside the Institute. And, of course, it’s complicated. The only way inside is with a special relay chip linked to their teleportation network. And the only ones with those chips are elite hunter-type synths Virgil called Coursers. At first I though a Courser was just another word for synth, but Virgil’s scoff told me otherwise. So now it seems synth hunting is my next step to finding my son. At least Virgil’s retained enough of his humanity to understand why I want inside the Institute so badly.

When we got back to Sanctuary, I decided to let Danse rest up, and asked Nick to travel with me for a bit. Danse protested my choice of companion, but in the end he stayed behind without too much grumbling. Nick and I will check on the settlements, swing by his old office, maybe even head up north to check out that old lead for him. Just as long as Danse and Strong don’t get into a wrestling match while I’m gone, it’ll be all right.

It has to be all right.

Rosalind


	19. Settlement Thoughts and Fears

I'm scared to death, and apparently I’m not hiding it as well as I thought.

Preston and I found and built new artillery for the Minutemen's Castle. MacCready and I cleared a new settlement spot not far from Diamond City – ironically called Hangman's Alley on the map. I went around to all the places looking to me for guidance and protection, making sure everyone was safe. Planted more crops, built more pumps, set up more shelters, whatever the settlers needed, I did.

No one's said anything negative about my actions. In fact, Preston's been singing my praises to anyone who'll listen. But his words ring hollow, because I know deep down I'm not the brave General he swears I am. If I was, I'd have already gotten the chip I need from an Institute courser. I'd already have been in and out of the Institute itself. I'd be reunited with my son.

Instead I drown myself in duty, taking care of everyone's needs except my own. The worst is catching Danse's expression when he thinks I‘m not looking his way. He won't say it, but I can tell he's disappointed we're not tracking synths. But how can I explain why we’re still in Sanctuary, when I can’t put the reason into words? I'm avoiding the problem – Nathaniel always knew when I was worried, because I'd bustle around the house cleaning spotless floors or tidying pristine rooms. He'd take my hands, sit me down, duck his head so I'd see his kind eyes, and we'd talk. After that I'd feel better about whatever was bothering me.

God I miss him.

Rosalind


	20. Settlements and Tombs

More settlements are now under the Minutemen's banner. A shame they couldn't prevent more tragedies.

Greentop Nursery, and by extension Taffington Boathouse, were brought to my attention by Preston. Danse and I eliminated a nest of ghouls on the way to the greenhouse, and bugs that make mosquitoes seem like minor inconveniences inside the boathouse. It's what else we found in the house that added fuel to my nightmare fire.

The body of a woman, with a folded note in her pocket – people she cared for promising to return to her as soon as they could. Only they'd never come back, and from the evidence.. the poor lady was sucked dry by those awful bugs. If I'd known sooner, maybe I could have helped her.

Preston later apologized for handing me the General job. He finally admitted he didn't have the right to expect so much from me right off the bat. Though I have to admit, he was right about one thing: I have grown into the title, slowly but surely. At least I finally feel like I am – especially when I see hope kindling in the eyes of the settlers.

I did make one unscheduled stop. I went back to Vault 111 for the first time since I woke up. Danse went with me. At first he didn't understand why we were there, but when he saw the cryo-chambers, he knew. Take all the time you need, he said. So I did. I cried until my tears stopped flowing, and all I could do was lean heavily against Nathaniel's pod. If I have my way, this Vault will remain as it is forever – memorial and tomb, locked in time.

Once we left, I felt better than I have in a long while. Once all the settlers are, well – settled, CIT is waiting. And whatever I find there, I can handle it.

At least with Danse guarding my back, I can.


	21. Courser Hunting

I found the Courser. And once again, I’m left with more questions than answers.

The thread wound its way to CIT – which only held dead synths and soon-to-be dead raiders. Virgil’s intel was spot-on – Danse and I followed the Courser frequency on my Pip-Boy, trailing through the old school, back outside (taking care of more raiders in our path), and into a genetics testing lab. The irony was not lost on me.

Once inside, the signal pulsed and thrummed like a heartbeat, guiding us through wrecked computers and scattered equipment. The Gunners shouting instructions and locations into the intercom helped keep us on the trail..

We picked our way up rickety stairs and makeshift ramps, eliminating Gunners who tried to stop us. Something about the Courser wanting a girl the group held captive – it didn’t make sense at the time. All that mattered was finding that machine and yanking the Institute’s chip out of its skull.

And then we came face to face with it.

The Courser might pass for human from a distance, but I saw nothing but ruthless programming in its cold purple eyes. I felt fear pricking along my spine, chills worse than when I first thawed out, but I fought past it. The Institute hunter cloaked itself and took potshots at us, energy beams bouncing off my power armor. Thank goodness Danse insists I wear it on missions like this, otherwise I’d be missing an arm. With Danse holding its attention, I was able to blast the Courser into paste, and just like that, the chip was in my hand. We freed the girl – who was apparently also a synth who fled the Institute – left the few remaining Gunners alive (they were paralyzed with fear and didn’t even move after the Courser was dead), and got the heck out of that awful place.

When we got back to Sanctuary, I showed Nick the chip, and he had no idea what to do with it, dashing my hopes of an easy solution. It seems another trip to Goodneighbor is in order – once I check on the settlers and that out-of-the-way cabin where Nick’s old friend lives. Someone always needs something in the Wastelands.

Anything to keep my mind from wandering into dangerous territory.

Rosalind


	22. Dead End Trails

Once, just once, I’d love for things to work like they’re supposed to.

Dr. Amari is an expert on synths, yet she took one look at the Courser Chip and immediately threw up her hands in defeat. All she could offer was a vague reference to a shadowy organization called The Railroad. I saw hints of them back in Diamond City – graffiti on walls, “follow the Freedom Trail”.

Except I’m tired of following trails.

Nick offered up a distraction of sorts. He told me about memory flashes he’s been having – flickers of the life of Nick Valentine, the beat cop. And he wants to tie up a loose end for a man long dead. Eddie Winter’s file crossed my desk more than once, only to be snatched up by more experienced lawyers before I could get a good look at it. Rumor had it Winter bribed police and attorneys alike. And now, it seems he found a way to survive the bombs – Nick’s convinced he’s still alive after all these years.

And Nick wants to correct that as soon as he can, and I plan on helping him. While tracking down the codes we need to find Winter, I’ll keep my eyes open for more of those Freedom Trail signs.

Two birds with one stone.

Rosalind


	23. Finch Farm

I want to help everyone I can. But, I learned a valuable lesson.

I can’t save everyone.

While hunting for the logs Nick needs to have his vengeance on Eddie Winter, we landed at Finch Farm – a place Preston said needed help a while back. When we got there, the leader of the Farm almost shot us on sight – until he took a good look, and lowered his gun. We didn’t have the burns, he said - which didn’t make a whole lot of sense. Mr. Finch explained that his son Jake ran off to join a nearby raider faction calling themselves The Forge, taking a family artifact with him. Back in my day, swords didn’t blast fire out of them, but Mr. Finch seemed proud of the old blade. With the foundry’s location marked on my Pip-Boy’s map, Nick and I decided to retrieve the sword, and send Jake back home (despite his father claiming he was dead to him now).

It was the worst idea I’ve ever had.

The Forgers certainly lived up to their name – using flamers the way most people use pipe pistols. If I’d known that ahead of time, I’d have gotten my power armor. Instead Nick and I got pinned down by a whole squad of these psychotic raiders, barely fending them off. Nick’s body isn’t designed to withstand that kind of heat. As for me, knotted scars on my arms will remind me to the end of my days not to play with fire.

And it only got worse.

Fortunately, the bulk of the Forge seemed to be outside, as we only found scattered patrols inside the foundry, easily dispatched from a distance – Nick slicing through them with a handy-dandy mini-gun. Then, we got to the blast furnace, heat radiating in waves though the closed door.

And once we opened it, things got truly heated.

Slag was the absolute worst example of a bully in power I’ve ever seen. Standing there all smug in power armor I wished I had, he was in the middle of ordering a terrified Jake to kill a random prisoner – to prove he was worthy of membership. We talked Jake out of executing the person – he even stood up to Slag, but the situation went fubar (Nathaniel’s word for it) right after that.

And when the smoke cleared, everyone in the blast furnace room was dead – including Jake.

Nick wasn’t happy with that – the set of his jaw told me that much – but I can’t think of how we could’ve gotten Jake out alive. Not with flamers and molotovs and a crazy guy in power armor in such a small space. In the end, we took the sword back to Mr. Finch, and told him the truth – that Jake finally saw the light, but it came too late. Mr. Finch, though grieved, was grateful we took the time to help him, and pledged his support to the Minutemen.

I just wish we could’ve brought his son home too, instead of just a sword.

Rosalind


	24. Family Reunion

In a world full of darkness, it feels good to shine a little light.

In my search for Nick's holotapes, Danse and I found the last thing I ever expected to find in the Wasteland.

A boy, in a refrigerator.

Instead of suffocating 200 years ago, Billy turned into a ghoul, and somehow had the strength to yell loud enough for me to hear him over Danse's hydraulics. With a well-placed shot, we got him out of his makeshift coffin, and I made the decision to escort him to Quincy, which Danse agreed was the right call. His smile made me all flustered – but I didn’t have time to think about that. We took barely two steps when a gunner leader approached us, asking how much we wanted for Billy – like he was some kind of pet instead of a person. I told the man off, and thought that was the end of it.

Quincy wasn't that far from where we found Billy, so we detoured to where he thought he lived – turns out I'm not the only one lost in this strange landscape. But he recognized the ruins of his home, and waiting for him inside, against all odds, were his parents. By some miracle, they also transformed into ghouls, and were clearly overjoyed to see their long-lost son.

But then that gunner made his presence known, having trailed us to the house, demanding we turn over Billy. Danse and I flat-out refused, moving to flank the raiding party. We fell into our old battle pattern like we never stopped traveling together. He commands the enemies' attention, while I duck around cover and finish them off. Before long, the gunners lay dead, and we left the family in peace.

And after picking up one of the holotapes languishing in a nearby station, Danse and I were on our way, little satisfied smiles on our faces. Only two tapes left on the list. Then... I'm not sure. The courser chip pulses in my pocket, a dull reminder of my main goal. But there's always something ahead of it. Danse doesn't say anything, but he doesn't have to.

I know I'm stalling, and I don't know how to stop.

Rosalind


	25. Nick - True Detective, True Friend

Well, we found all the tapes. And I found a true friend.

Raiders, Gunners, feral ghouls, and even a stray Deathclaw tried to stop us – but in the end, I turned over every last holotape to Nick. And he, in turn, cracked their code in no time flat. With Eddie Winter’s last known location fresh on my map, Nick, Danse, and I set off to find the old gangster.

But what we found wasn’t quite what Nick expected.

Nick moved through the old station like he’d been there a hundred times. Maybe the original Valentine’s memories told him where to go, which twists to take. He executed the raider inhabitants with unusually grim determination. Nothing was standing in his way, so Danse and I left Nick to clean house.

Deep in the bowels of the station, we found the bunker at last, terminal off to the side of the door, just waiting for someone to enter the ancient passcode. Rather than dashing in, Nick said I should do the honors. So with trembling, soot-covered fingers, I keyed in the numbers we fought so hard to get.

And inside, looking a bit worse for wear, was Eddie Winter himself.

Brandishing a gun, Winter demanded to know who we were and why we were there. Nick again took charge, outlining exactly who he was, and exactly why he was there. The look on the man/ghoul’s face as Nick spoke will stay with me for a long time. An anti-climatic gunfight later, and the last chapter of Nick Valentine’s life came to a close.

We made one final stop before heading back to Sanctuary.

Standing outside the sub shop on the spot his fiance died, Nick talked for some time about how he felt – how he thought he’d finally escape the past implanted by the Institute. As the conversation turned, Nick’s eyes lit with understanding. He was never truly bound to Valentine the beat cop, or even the Institute. Every good thing he’s done has been his, and his alone.

The knowing smile on Nick’s face made everything I endured worthwhile.

Rosalind


	26. The End of the Freedom Trail

I finally found the Freedom Trail. But again, I'm left with far more questions than answers.

It was actually a literal trail – a narrow path of red bricks and paint, winding through the North End, passing by nests of Super Mutants and raiders. The more that die, the more seem to appear – an ancient cycle I hoped would no longer be with the end of the world. Dog-eat-dog is as literal as the debris-covered bricks.

The trail ended at a wreck of a church. Nick shot me a look, and I nodded. No matter what waited inside, it didn't matter. I needed whatever information was locked inside that courser's head, and this was the only way. Anything to find my son. Feral ghouls were no match for us. Dimly-lit passages marked with lanterns guided our steps. The answer was close enough to touch.

And then a roadblock flung itself in front of me. Again.

A redhead flanked by minigun-toting guards demanded answers from us – who we were, how we got there, the usual. She didn't buy it when I told her flat-out I needed a Courser chip decoded, her bodyguards even raising their weapons at Nick and me – but then a voice from the left saved the day.

At least that's what he wanted me to think.

Deacon, as the lady called him, told her more about myself than I was frankly willing to share. He knew about the fight with the Courser like he was actually there – though if he was truly present, he'd know that Danse executed the machine, not me. 

With Deacon’s assurance we weren't Institute spies – though I'd have thought Nick's presence would have made that obvious – Desdemona escorted us inside, and her hacker got straight to work. Once I agreed to let them keep the chip, that is. They can have it for all I care. All I wanted was what was on it.

And after a harrowing few minutes, the data I needed was hot in my hands. A quick stop back to Virgil, and I'll know exactly what to do with it.

Before we left, Deacon tried to get me to do a job with him, so I could get on Desdemona's good side. While I was non-committal, I honestly don't think I'll go back to that church if I can help it. The Railroad lives in the mausoleum for Heaven's sake. Old tombs being used as tables – even Super-Mutants don't do that. Not to mention something about Deacon sets my teeth on edge. When I pressed him, he admitted to asking around about me, and that if I hadn't come to the Railroad, he'd have likely sought ME out.

I don't need a creeper-stalker in my life. The very idea has me gripping my pistol just a little tighter.

Rosalind


	27. Far Harbor

What makes a person human?

Distancing myself from the Railroad led me to Far Harbor. Nick and I thought it was about time we brought answers to the Nakano family. But all we've found so far is a tangle of questions and madness.

I vaguely remember the island from my childhood – flashes of a half-remembered summer vacation, picking shells off the beach, the sea breeze tickling my hair, sunshine on my toes. Now, the breeze rolls thick, radiation-laced fog across the island, and the only thing left on the shore are dead fish and nuclear waste. And despite that, people eke out a living here.

We found a guide to the synth refuge – Acadia, the locals called it. It was a bit of a trek to get there from Far Harbor itself – I'd rather take on a horde of Deathclaws than fight any more of the mutant frogs and salamanders that did their best to eat us – but we made it. Thank heaven for solid power armor. 

Inside, the synth leader met with us, and immediately recognized Nick – even calling him “brother”. Nick didn't react well to that address, swearing up and down he didn't know the odd machine-man, that he had no memory of a brother at all. Before telling us where Kasumi was, he asked if I was a synth. When I said no, he wondered how I knew for certain I was human – why I took the few memories I have of my life before the bombs as truth.

And I couldn't answer him.

That bothered me at first. I thought I knew exactly who I was and where I came from. Then, it dawned on me. I may not be the homemaker I was. I may not be the attorney I wanted to be. But I am what my life has made me. I am a fighter. I am the General of the Minutemen, and a Knight in the Brotherhood of Steel. I am the one settlers look to for help and protection.

I am Rosalind Hawkson, and that's all that matters.


	28. Children of Atom

I thought crazy was confined to the Commonwealth.

The Children of Atom are on the island as well, living in a tenuous peace with both Far Harbor and Acadia. And they are more mad than the group living in the Glowing Sea. This sect inhabits an old nuclear submarine – the leaking waste making my Pip-Boy dance and click like Nathaniel and I did during Flamenco lessons. I don’t understand why anyone would willingly expose themselves to constant, near-lethal doses of radiation.

Yet to get the information I need, I had to do exactly that.

After talkin to Kasumi, her fears compelled Nick and I to learn more about the old prototype synth leading Acadia. Piper would’ve been proud of how fast I got inside that storage room. What we heard sent my mind spinning.

DiMA left potentially dangerous information within the reach of the Children of Atom.

My jaw dropped. Kill-switches, nuclear codes, cache locations – all still inside the submarine, abandoned when the synth gave over control to the Children in a misguided gesture of goodwill. The sheer level of danger Far Harbor is in – I had to get my hands on that data, no matter the personal cost.

The easiest way inside the submarine was to act like I wanted to join the Children of Atom. Richter directed me to a specific spring a good hike south, told me to drink from a specific spot when I got there, and come back with whatever token would be revealed to me. Simple enough.

I didn’t expect that high a radiation count. Thank heaven for power armor and Rad-away.

Through a green haze of agonizing stomach cramps, I saw… someone. The vague outline of a woman, wreathed in a sickly glow, led me to a shack on the edge of a waste dump. Inside was a crudely carved totem. Once it was safely stowed away, we made tracks back to the submarine.

Richter’s awe and delight when I showed him the totem was unsettling to the point of unnerving. But we were inside without a gunfight, and that’s a victory in itself.

Rosalind.


	29. Far Harbot, DiMA's data

And of course things got worse.

Nick and I found the security room DiMA mentioned – the place where he stashed his offloaded memories. On one hand, the Child of Atom guarding the door let us pass without batting an eye. On the other hand, someone already tripped the area’s security, so we dealt with turrets, Protectrons, and even an Assualtron. Those things hit damn hard – I have fresh dents in my chest plate and a gouge in my helmet. Good thing the Brotherhood of Steel knows a thing or two about Power Armor.

And then, there it was, the terminal with all the answers.

I thought wandering through Kellogg’s memories was unsettling. Poking around DiMA’s data was truly unnerving. In some ways, the Courser we killed possessed more humanity than DiMA does. The old synth chose to forget vital information desperately needed by the Island for its very survival. For all the good he’s done for those escaping the Institute, I cannot unsee or unhear what I discovered.

DiMA put a synth in charge of Far Harbor. He robbed those people of their leader, to insure his own safety. He rigged up a kill-switch for the fog condensors keeping Far Harbor alive. He stashed the codes for the submarine in a separate location – it could be destroyed by anyone who finds them. Oddly, he also removed his memory of Nick – how he helped Nick escape, and how Nick pummeled him in a blind, confused panic.

The entire Island could go up in irradiated smoke in the blink of an eye. And the only ones who know how dire the situation truly is, are Nick and me.

I thought about going back to the Commonwealth, but I can’t just abandon these people to an uncertain fate. Nathaniel would call me soft-hearted – he was always the pragmatic one, seeing the greater picture instead of each individual piece. But in the end, he usually indulged my charity – whether for stray animals or less fortunate people, and we gave generously, especially this time of year.

Nick reminded me it’ll be Christmas in a few weeks. In the midst of all the disasters, I’d forgotten about Christmas – I wasn’t even sure people celebrated it anymore. Here’s hoping we can fix Far Harbor and be back in Sanctuary in time. The longer we’re gone, the more I think about my old home, and the folks living there. Especially one certain folk, with dark eyes that chase away the demons in my dreams.

When we get back, I need to do some serious shopping.

Rosalind


	30. DiMA's Secrets

I wanted answers. I wanted to find out exactly what DiMA was up to on the Island. Now that I have answers, however, I'm even more at a loss.

While inside DiMA’s memories, when I heard he replaced Captain Avery, I thought perhaps she disappeared – a victim of the Fog or the predators within it. Nick and I discovered the cold, hard truth in the basement of a cola factory. Behind DiMA's mask lies a heart colder than anyone I've met – and that includes Kellogg and the Courser. They at least didn't dress up their murders like good deeds. The holotape in Avery’s gave revealed everything: DiMA wanted a bridge between synths and humans, so he fast-tracked the process. Instead of letting the people make up their own minds about him, he made himself look like a savior while he put his plans in careful motion. This is exactly why synths are feared – I thought DiMA would have known that. But, it seems he cares more for his ego than for the inhabitants of Far Harbor. He must be stopped.

With the nuclear key and the wind farm kill-codes in my possession, I only hope I can stop him before he “saves” the Island into utter ruin. Kasumi needs to know she was dead-on in her assessment of the old synth. And Nick needs to know he's still my friend – that I don't think he’s a monster. Because he isn't.

A quick rest at Longfellow's cabin, a couple doses of Red-away, a thorough scrubbing of my armor to get the glowing angler guts off it, and we'll head back to Acadia with what we found.

Hopefully, it won't all blow up in our faces.

Rosalind


	31. Captain's Dance

The Island is starting to grow on me. Or maybe its particular brand of crazy is.

We've been doing our best to ease the burden of Far Harbor's folks, despite their near-unwillingness to trust us. Cleared out a nest of feral ghouls, retrieved some specialized tools, repaired a couple Fog Condensors – all in a day's work.

When we returned to the docks for a resupply, the doctor, Teddy, approached us with a way to fully gain Far Harbor's trust – the Captain's Dance. All we needed to do was stir up mirelurks, kill them, and share the bounty with the people. Easy enough on paper, I thought, and Nick agreed. Anything to help, right?

It certainly wasn't one of our brighter moves.

In front of a few spectators, I tossed chunks of raw meat into the western swamp. Sure enough, mirelurks came calling, and Nick and I dispatched them with relative ease. With one wave down, we threw in more meat – this time attracting not only mirelurk hunters, but a King. The blasted thing rattled my armor, its screeching rattled my head, but it wasn't long before more carcasses floated in the radioactive mire.

Then a blessed Mirelurk Queen stormed out of the depths. Thank heavens for the Fat Man and mini-nukes, otherwise she would have ripped open my power armor and peeled me out like a lobster tail. In the end, we were battered and bloodied (well I was bloodied, Nick was oozing oil and lubricant), but we stood victorious, and the whole of Far Harbor feasted.

Acid burns and ringing ears aside, it felt good to do something substantial for Far Harbor. I wish DiMA had done the same, instead of the underhanded scheme he chose to insure his safety. I still haven't confronted him. Heaven knows I should, but I want to make sure Far Harbor doesn't suffer when I do.

Rosalind


End file.
